Our Values Direct the Way! But What Are Yours?

One of the first exercises I do when working with men in midlife is helping them to uncover their core values.

It sounds simple. But for many, it’s the first time in years – perhaps ever – that they’ve stopped to ask - ‘What actually matters to me?’

By the time we reach our 40s and 50s, we’ve often built careers, taken on responsibilities, and created full lives. But something can still feel missing… or just... ‘not right’. We search for more meaning, more purpose.

Often the reason we feel this way is simpler than we think, and its not 'out there', its 'in us' - and a lack of alignment with our values.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve seen through this work is this:

When we live or act in alignment with our values, life tends to feel positive and energising. When we live or act against them, something feels off.

It can create frustration, unease, or a sense that we’re not quite living the life we want. For me, my top 3 values are empathy, connection, and progress. And these have changed over time - the values that once drove us in our 20s and 30s are not always the ones that matter most now.

This is particularly true in the workplace. Roles or types of work that once excited us can gradually lose their appeal as our priorities evolve.

Values are like an internal compass. When we take time to identify what truly matters, it can feel like a recalibration. Decisions become clearer. Energy returns. Direction and purpose start to re-emerge.

If you’re a man in midlife feeling stuck, restless, or questioning what comes next, this is often where the work begins. Because if you don’t know what truly matters to you…how can you build a life that actually feels like yours?